Behind My Stripes

I am fragile. My story shall not be written for the reason that someone might find it and read it. I’m not fond of diaries, instead it will be spoken. It shall never be heard by any living, breathing creature. I must say what is inside me because if I don’t let it out, it might just kill me. So I will speak. Call me crazy, and put me in a straight jacket for I’ve heard it all before. I speak to myself and trust no one but the voices in my head. If you look at me, you run in fear for I wear the stripes of a tiger. You think I am fierce, untouchable, unbreakable. You think you know me? You’ve heard the rumors you’ve heard the lies, but never have you heard my side. The rumors make you laugh and almost feel bad but my stripes make you run and hide. You don’t dare confront me. Behind my stripes you believe there is nothing but a cold, empty, hollow void where my heart should be. I am bitter because I won’t let you in. I refuse to let you know that you are wrong. My stripes, nothing but a mask. I am not fierce like a tiger. That is only what I let you see. Behind my stripes is a person who is broken beyond repair. Face dry from tears and bags under her eyes from crying herself to sleep. I am not untouchable. The slightest words can knock me over blasting me into non existence. Behind my stripes is someone whose heart has been broken, shattered, stepped on and left there to rot. Someone who has been cheated, lied to. Behind my stripes is someone stupid. Someone who has let too many people in, wore her heart on her sleeve, and given her love away like candy canes on christmas. Letting all those people in and giving them chances, only to have them break her heart. Behind my stripes is someone who has been betrayed and stabbed in the back. Someone who has heard “I love you” and “I’m your best friend. I’d never hurt you.” and fell for it. Behind my stripes is someone who has heard “you’re crazy, you’re fat, you’re ugly.” and let it get to her. Let it break her and tear her apart. So I put on my masks of stripes and I am a tiger. I put my heart in a steel box and chain it. I melt the key. Nobody will ever hurt me again. Nobody will ever look into my eyes, peel off my stripes and take of my mask and see the real me. For behind my stripes, is nothing but broken glass.

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