I’m losing it.

Paranoia heightened.

My grip on you

I tighten.

I know you’re

kind of frightened.

I’m scared.

I’m nervous.

I’m too much

I’m too much

Good God, I know

I’m too much.

I get it if you’re not

for this.

You can go if you

can’t take this.

They all go.

They all leave.

You can go,

if you must.

I’d like it if you stayed.

But you’re free to go away.



Long Night

race around my mind
in this endless game of ping pong
my eyes close
and whip back open
no sleep tonight
the demons are ravaging my mind
must keep busy
must keep busy
so I’ll twiddle my thumbs
do whatever I can
to keep my itching
from clawing
my beating heart
right out of my chest
can’t sleep
can’t sleep
tick tock
tick tock
the longer I stay awake
the louder the demons
tick tock
tick tock
can’t sleep
Won’t sleep

Return to Normalcy

I used to be poet
Then I got rid of my muse
My frown turned upside
No longer singing the blues
But now my hands ache for
A pen and my fingers itch
Longing to type
I knew this wouldn’t last
I knew this happiness would pass
And now my poetry
Is tinged with the same
Hopeless longing
Lack of sense of belonging
That I’m used to.
Heartbreaks back baby
You miss me?
The darkness has found a leak
And now the sadness can seep
Back into my soul
Fragmenting my being
With its acid nature
Until I am nothing more
Nothing at all more
Than the hollow shell
I was

Trench Coat

On cold nights
I would pull you
in by your
trench coat.
You always wore
a trench coat.
And you’d wrap
your long arms
Around me.
I didn’t know
Darling, I didn’t know
that our last kiss
would be our last.
I didn’t know
baby, I didn’t know
how safe I felt
In your arms.
I didn’t know
honey, I didn’t know
how warm you made
Me feel.
Until I was left
frightened, and cold.
I miss your
trench coat.
You always wore
a trench coat.

I Don’t Know Why

I don’t know
I don’t miss you
But goodness
I wanna cry
I wanna scream
It’s not about you
It’s not about me
It’s not about
anything anymore
It’s about how everything
Is so much
so much
too much
I think too much
I can’t cry
The tears won’t come out
I’ve dried up
I don’t miss you
I want to cry
I just don’t know why


don’t tell me
that you like me
if you don’t mean it
my feelings
are not a chess match
you cannot play me
until you win
I will not be your
consolation prize
when you can’t have
the girl whom you
deem as
actually valuable
I am valuable.
So if you only want my body
tell me that you
only want my body
but don’t lie
and say you like me
just so you can have me
I am not a piece of


You know what’s funny?
I never noticed
I had big lips
until you told me
you never kissed a girl
with big lips before.
Well that’s not true
but how tragic would
it be if it were…
I can’t help but wonder
if our flaws are flaws
because we think they
detract from our potential
or if our flaws are flaws
because they’re what
make us different
from those we find to be
My forehead is too big
because hers is small
and you think she’s gorgeous.
My lips are too big
because hers are thin
and you want to kiss her.
I am too tall
because she is petite
and you want to hold her.
I am all wrong
because she is my opposite
and you love her.
Isn’t that funny?

Burning Out

I never noticed

that each time

I gave you a piece of me,

I was tearing myself apart.


Once a constellation

I am now a run down

collection of burnt out



If you won’t

set my heart ablaze,

If you won’t pick up

the fragments of my being

that are scattered on the floor,

at least return the pieces you have taken.


I wish to be whole again.