The Secret Life of Secrets Sawyer

“Secrets, secrets are no fun unless their shared with everyone.” Rosetta said in an annoying sing song voice trying to reach for my notebook.

“Yeah, and who came up with that? The same retard who came up with that sticks and stones balderdash?” I snapped pulling .it out of her reach. Rosetta looked down at the ground.

“There’s really no reason to be so rude”

“Bite me” I spat and this time Rosetta shut her mouth and kept it that way. Better. I’ve known Rosetta since I came to this wretched place. She’s an annoying little southern bell who annoys me immensely but I stick with her because she kinda’ intrigues me. She doesn’t look the part but Rosetta’s real smart, not just book smart but real smart. She’s kinda’ like a philosopher, she questions everything, and I mean everything, and she can solve any problem; with science. I guess she’s a real Disney-esque type of girl, pretty and shallow looking on the outside but smart on the inside. I wonder why she hangs out with me. She had once said that it was because ‘I understood her intellectual side’ but I think that’s a load of crap. She probably just hangs out with me because she has some sort of gross crush on my cousins Brandon and Luke. I live with my Aunt Delilah and my Uncle James and their three sons. Ezekiel is probably the least corrupted of all of them, at fourteen years old he’s the most mature out of all of them, and that says something considering the fact that he spends most of his time making stupid sexual jokes. Brandon and Luke on the other hand…well aren’t really that much different. They’re just more stupid, and annoying, and their sexual jokes are a bit more, erm, descriptive. Brandon’s nineteen and Luke’s seventeen and they’re like inseparable. So considerably so that Brandon stayed home instead of going to live on campus, he even listened to his mama and ended up going to college in Georgia instead of Boston. Now I can’t blame Rosetta for thinking that they’re cute, they are quite attractive. Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘Eww, you think your cousin is cute!’ but I’ll have you know that I didn’t see them much as a kid. I saw them like once and that was for Christmas, when I was five. I remember that Luke and I hit it off that Christmas, I was wooed by his bug eating skills and he by my scissor skills. For about two years after I left we kept in touch, drove our parents crazy by making them call every three hours (eventually my folks had him on speed dial) and then it all kind of abruptly ended.

“Secrets?” Rosetta said waving a hand in front of my face.

“What?” I snapped.

“You kinda faded away for a bit there.” She replied braiding her hair. I pulled my knees up a little closer to me and shifted my notebook. This was my fifth composition notebook this month; I kinda went through them pretty quickly. Aunt Delilah has to get boxes of them shipped in from this company that makes school supplies because I write so much. Now I’d tell you what I wrote, but then I’d have to kill you and that’s so much work. The disposing of the body and the cover up that is. The actual murder’s quite simple. Just me and my scissors, my collection of scissors that is, I’ve grown quite….fond of them, Rosetta finds it weird, I don’t; some people collect stamps, I collect scissors. Guess my scissors connect to…precious memories. My notebooks are pretty sacred, my uncle bought me a safe to keep them in (He actually had to buy me multiple considering I had so many notebooks), I once snapped a kids finger backwards for touching it. That resonating “crrr-crack” was music to my ears.

“Secrets you okay? You’re jaw’s clenched tighter than Rose and Jack’s grip on the boat railing.” I unclenched my jaw and looked at her; I realized I was staring at absolutely nothing. We were sitting on the ground in this little nook in the gym behind the bleaches killing time. I bolted here right when that bell rang; this was my ‘hiding from the world’ spot, the sound of squeaking sneakers calmed me, I have no clue in the world how Rosetta spot me. I’ve been hiding here since I moved here four years ago and nobody else has ever discovered me. I have many hiding spots, I’ve always had a reason to hide, and hiding’s something I’m real good at. Ain’t nothing better than cuddling up in to dark closet of my ‘room’ with a flashlight, my notebook and music blaring from my headphones, that right there, that’s paradise.

“You coming over today?” I queried still staring into space.

“Yeah so who’s picking us up?” She asked.

“Brandon’s at work so um…shoot!” I exclaimed.


“We was supposed to catch a ride with Luke after practice.” I looked down at my phone. “We have five minutes before he gets in that car and leaves us here. Rosetta’s eyes widened and she grabbed her purse off the ground and followed me.


“Hey Rosie are ya’ sleeping over?” Ezekiel asked leaning against the doorframe and Rosetta nodded. “Alright, if you get bored, you know where my room is.” He winked; Rosetta gaged and looked back down at her laptop.

“Ezekiel Sawyer you leave that girl alone now you hear?” Aunt Delilah yelled from the kitchen.

“Yes’m!” he replied running off, but not without sending another wink in Rosetta’s direction. I looked over at Rosetta, she was wearing these bright red Ray-Bans that brought out her green eyes perfectly, they were brighter than her hair but her hair was still fairly red. She was so pretty, she had delicate features and huge round eyes. She was most definitely one of the prettiest girls I know, so I wonder, why the hell is she going after Luke? I looked a mess compared to her. She wore chic scarves and blouses and I dressed up like a Tumblr addict, hipster maybe; in all fairness, I am one. My brown eyed, black and blue haired, jean and t-shirt wearing self-had nothing on her perfect sized, busty beauty. She snapped her head up as if she felt me staring at her.

“Secrets, why are you staring at me like a lesbian?” I cracked a tiny smile. “Look at that, a smile, that’s a real smile.” She grinned at me “Do you know how cute you look when you smile Secrets? You know if you ignore all the scars…and bruises. All you ever do is frown, and look all angry, and clench you jaw and, and-and stare off into space and when you do smile it’s this creepy, secret, axe-murderer looking smile. And with those scary, closed off faces you’re always making you draw attention to the scars and bruises. You always have that hood up looking like an ex-convict, like you’re tryna hide something, which only intensifies the rumors.” Her stare intensified and she pushed her glassed closer to her face, “Secrets, why you got so many secrets for? What did they do to you to crush your soul so much? I can see it; I can see that look in your eyes. That look…like the will to live on has completely left you, like you’re struggling to find the will to go on every waking moment.” She leaned forward a bit as if ready to listen “My question is, why?” I looked at Rosetta, I really looked at her, looked at her mighty hard. Then I got up and slapped her, real forcefully across her face. Her hands flew up and she cradled her face, she looked up at me hard, her green eyes filled with anger.

“Don’t. Ever. Ask. Me. That. Again.” I said through clenched teeth. She removed her hand from her face and there was a crimson mark across her cheek, it looked out of place on her olive skin. She stared at me. I felt perturbed under her white hot glare; I looked down at my notebook.

“Why? You must at least tell me why you refuse to tell me about your past. You owe me that.” The anger rose up inside me; I could feel my skin basically light on fire, it was taking every fiber in my being not to pull Betsy, my favorite pair of scissors, out of my pocket right now. I snapped my head up and met her eyes.

“Why? You ask me why!” I exclaimed. “The things that I’ve done… my past is so dark, so wicked, so ungodly that if I simply told you about it, you’d have to get your ears flushed out with holy water! I am despicable, scum, dangerous, the things that I’ve done would cause you to run and hide and wish that you’d never met me. If I told you, you would become petrified of me, my presence would cause you to quake in your boots and piss your pants of fear. Darling, I am the spawn of the devil, the boogie monster in the flesh! That’s why I refuse to tell you. You didn’t think those scissors were for scrap booking now did you?” I finished. Rosetta’s mouth open and closed like a fish, her eyes were intumescing out of her skull. A sly-secret smile crossed my face and I cocked my head to the side, “Now what was the math homework?”


The Awakened Ones

“We could still…” He sighed pushing a strand of jet black hair behind my ear, “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he whispered. I smacked his arm.

“Are you crazy? You can’t just say things like that out in the open Jedidiah!” I exclaimed.  I looked at him wide eyed, his brows furrowed in frustration.

“I’m tired Lindy, I’m so tired of all these rules, I love you, I’ll shout it on the mountains, I love you, I always will.”

“Sure, you’ll shout it on the mountains and then they’ll shoot you down,” I rolled my eyes “To love is to feel, and to feel is to be in danger.” I responded making my whisper sound as stern as possible.

“You don’t believe that, you know that’s a load of crap Lindy.” He took my hand in his. “Remember when we used to feel freely Lindy? When I used to kiss you and you used to kiss me back? When you used to believe that… that maybe we could make it out of this place? What changed?” he asked his voice pain stricken. I looked at him; he was so handsome with his fair skin and dark hair, his pain filled black eyes.  I couldn’t bear to let him go…but then again, I couldn’t bear to see him dead either. I pressed my lips up to his.

“Go home Jedidiah.” The light completely left his eyes but luckily, he obeyed. Little did he know I haven’t given up on leaving Utopia; actually, the opposite has happened. I’ve found a way out. I can’t tell him, leaving Utopia won’t be easy, it will be nearly impossible and chances are, I won’t even make it to the opposite side. Jedidiah still has a chance here. All he has to do is forget me and forget leaving and he’ll be fine. I’m not like him; I can’t fake it, can’t live in a place like this, where I have to constantly follow rules and keep my feelings under wraps. That’s not me, and I’m ready to break free.


Utopia is supposed to be a perfect place, a place where people can always be safe. But there’s a catch, if you want to be safe, and want to live, you’re not allowed to feel. Almost anything falls under the categories of feel; happiness, anger, sadness, and most dangerous of them all, love. Not feeling rids of sicknesses such as depression and eradicates all evil thoughts or feelings, feeling means you’re not completely aware, if you’re feeling then you are not ready to defend yourself at all times. But they’ve got it all wrong. Feeling keeps you alive, awake. But of course, humans aren’t able to naturally not feel, lucky for us, they thought of that. To keep us from feeling, every morning we are forced to take the perfect purple pill which is this tiny little lavender pill that basically puts us in a walking coma, you’re in your body but not in control of your limbs, your mind or anything, like sleep walking. You can’t think and most importantly you can’t feel. So I’ve heard. See they didn’t account for those of us with stronger minds than the others, those of us who are able to resist the pill. We are ‘The Awakened Ones’ Jedidiah and I are only two of them, we know about twenty others but it’s rumored that there are others who have escaped. I walk down a broken road; it’s been worn down, neglected. Anyone else would see a rundown slab of asphalt but to me, it’s an adventurous road, a road that leads to somewhere good. I see something glinting in the distance, I stop to pick it up, it’s a small golden thing on a chain. I’ve read about these things before, it’s called a key, it has a small engraving of a heart on the back, I put it around my neck; I think of Jedidiah. I’m not sure for how long I’ve been walking before I reach a shimmering river, the sunlight bounces off of it, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful before. I slowly wade through it; I reach the other side and pull myself out.  Before me stands a large barbed wire fence, the same fence that has held me in for years. Not anymore. I jump onto it and climb it slowly but skillfully. I swing over and drop down hitting hard ground. Freedom.

“Thought you’d never make it.” A deep and familiar voice says behind me, I don’t need to look up, I already know who it is. I smile.


“I can’t wait for this! Glory, I can already picture all them fine South African boys with them nice British accents Ooo! You know, all good boys are made in the South, I mean, look at me,” Michael whispered gesturing to himself. I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t know how you survived in Georgia; you’re like the gayest thing to ever set foot on the Earth, Michael.”

“Oh hush Delilah!” he sucked his teeth, “Why do you think I signed up for this trip? I was getting real tired with them annoying butt Southern Bells, all that balderdash in the air was beginning to suffocate me. Besides, my parents were ever so ready to ship me away, they were tired of being the talk of the town.” Michael rolled his eyes, I feel his pain. The ladies of my hometown weren’t very pleased with the fact that there was a gay child in their “sinless town”. Give me a break. Although, I’m kind of happy that they basically kicked him out of the town because there was no other way I could have paid for this field trip myself. My second parents also known as Michael’s famous doctor mom and dad paid for this trip. Gosh I love Michael, as like a brother I mean. Michael and I go to Alabama Technical Vocational School; it’s a long commute but its way worth it. We’re in the Medical program and every year the junior in the program go on a trip. We’re on our way to South Africa!

I glanced over at the boy a few rows away from me sitting under the overhead cabin; he’s the boy I’ve been going to school with since kindergarten and the boy I’ve been…thinking about since about third grade. Not that he knows I exist. He was engaged in dispute with his best friend Harley.

“Harls, c’mon you saw the x-rays, the man had a mass the size of a baseball in his encephalon, be real, it was indubitably a…” the boy said, his green eyes shining. His long red wavy hair bounced around as he spoke, the passion for what he was doing shone in his eyes. He was wearing a button down plaid shirt with the top unbuttoned; I could see the key resting on his stone hard chest.  He ran his hand through his hair. I bit my lip, golly gee was he gorgeous.

“He’s not a piece of meat Delilah, although I wouldn’t mind taking a bite outta that…” Michael whispered shifting his eyebrows. I smacked his arm.

“Shut up Michael!” I looked at him again. “God almighty I just wanna, run my hand through that hair. It looks so silky.” I tilted my head to the side. “Is it too much to ask to be Mrs. Ricky Wyatt?”

“Yes, yes it is,” Michael replied. I rested my head on his shoulder; I could feel the pull of sleep attempting to yank me down under.

“You know…have a pillow fight, drink tea and hot chocolate out of mugs, and argue over stupid things. I want him to wear an ugly pink apron and make me bacon….to hug me from behind…” I droned on. I was mumbling, I was slowly dosing off. I tend to mumble when I’m tired, and according to Michael, I also talk in my sleep, I do believe we’ve had about 50 too many Hannah Montana themed slumber parties.

“So you want a fairytale?” Michael sucked his teeth and sighed, “Cinderella has brain washed us all honey”

“Eh. I blame Nicholas Sparks.” Michael smiled and shook the blanket over me, I cuddled up to him, what would I do without this guy?

“You take your meds today D?” I ignored him and proceeded to doze off. I don’t need them.


“Delilah!” a silky deep voice yelled at me “Fire Delilah! We’re going down!” I was being ravaged, the strong hands on my shoulders were shaking me hard, and I could hear screaming in the background. The most distinct scream out of all of them was Michael’s; I knew his scream like I knew my own, mostly because his was like a hyena crossed with a five year old girl.  My eyes snapped open, and before me, stood an angel. His bright eyes were blazing with worry, his fire red hair dangling over me; I could just reach out and stroke it…. “Delilah!” I snapped out of the trance that his hair seemed to have had me under.

“Ricky,” I breathed “What’s going on?” I looked around; it was anarchy, complete and utter chaos. Everywhere, people screaming, falling, bleeding, and then, I saw it. The fire was towards the cockpit, it was blazing; there were a bunch of people on the ground in front of the fire, screaming; one by one they were being sucked right out of the plane. Then my eyes landed on him, among the group of people sprawled out in front of the fire, screaming and clutching his leg was Michael. “Michael!” I yelled shoving Ricky off me, I didn’t care. I ran and kneeled beside him and dragged him onto a chair and strapped him in. I moved his hand away from his injury, oh good Lord it was grievous. It was bleeding a great deal more than I would have liked, I feared that this was not going to end well. It looked like on top of this terrible wound on his leg, he’s also got a second or third degree burn.

“Delilah, Fire. Plane gone.” He mumbled through clenched teeth. This had to be exceedingly painful for him. I got up and looked around; there was a glass box with a first aid kit in it… what idiot puts a first aid kit in a glass case? I balled my hand into a fist and punched the glass in and yanked the first aid kit out, I now had blood running in streams down my arm, I could feel the little pieces of glass in my hand, ouch. “Delilah, your hand…”

“Hush Michael!” I snapped. I began examining his wound… there wasn’t much I could do with what was in the kit. “Look at you!” I sighed pushing the hair out of my face. I was exasperated, this looked hopeless.

“What happened?” a familiar voice queried next to me, I looked over and green eyes met mine.

“W-went to ask pilot if everything was o-okay, on my way back, heard snaps and huge boom. I dived onto back j-just in time. We’re-” Michael flinched in pain. Ricky was digging around his wound plucking out glass. “We’re going down.” Michael finished.

“Ridiculous, the pilot is a genius, we’ll be fine.” I said, but I didn’t believe it.

“D-Delilah….there is no pilot,” he whispered, I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Snaps and boom was cockpit falling off plane…was first to go… we’re spinning off course.”

“We’re gonna crash…” I mumbled, I looked over at Ricky, his eyebrows were furrowed in focus, the golden key around his neck shimmered; he sat back on his legs and ran his hand through his hair.

“I can’t stop the bleeding.” His expression was pained. Ok Delilah, you’re a med student, top of your class, think! We need to stop the bleeding or he’ll die… must stop bleeding          “Tourniquet! Make a tourniquet!” I exclaimed, Ricky eyes lit up but then the expression left as quick as it came.

“He could lose his leg…” Ricky explained looking at me intently.

“It’s either his leg, or his life.” Ricky looked back down at Michael, he had passed out, the pain was so bad, finally Ricky reluctantly took off his shirt. Oh good Lord. He began ripping his shirt into strips and tying it right above Michael’s wound, he pulled the shirt hard and Michael’s eyes shot up and he let out a piercing scream. Ricky’s muscles bulged; I could see the strain in his tight abs, the key bounced around as he worked swiftly.

“I know buddy, but we have no other choice, brace yourself, this is going to hurt.” He knotted off the shirt, twisted the top off the rubbing alcohol and poured, Michael yelled so loud I thought my ears were going to bleed. All at once something shifted, I was thrown backwards, the air became unbreathable and my heart felt like it was in my in my throat, everyone was screaming. I was in much too much shock to scream. We were free falling out of the sky.


            I pulled my head out of the water and began coughing, my throat was on fire and my eyes were stinging. I looked around, there was land about five or six feet away from me, some of us were sprawled out on the land and others of us were spread out in the water, the plane was in pieces next to a tree, I was flung out into the water when we crashed. Looking around I noticed that I couldn’t see Michael… oh no where’s Ricky?

“Michael! Ricky! Michael! Where are you guys!” I yelled but got no response, all I got was a few frantic looks from my peers. I hysterically began to paddle forward, moving my arms as quickly as I physically could, I must have looked like a maniac, I didn’t care, I needed to find them. I finally reached the land and I collapsed on the hot sand and began letting out all that water that I took in, when I was done I collapsed back down on the sand, I had  no fight left in me. I hoped that Ricky and Michael were safe, because try as hard as I might, there was no way I was going to get back up. Not long after I fell back down did I feel strong hands go around me and lift me right back up.

“You alright there Delilah?” I looked up at the person holding me and my eyes met big terrifyingly blue ones, Hurley. “Billy go tell Ricky that we have her, she’s weak and she looks like she’s about to pass out, she’s got a big bruise on her head too.”  Hurley called out; I saw a blob which I assumed was Billy run in the opposite direction. Hurley looked back down at me, oh good lord…there was like four Hurley’s. “You don’t look so good baby.” He picked me up and headed in the same direction of Billy, he was talking but I really couldn’t understand what he was saying. “Ricky’s been worried sick…abandoned mini mall… learned about this in school…can’t believe….crashed so off course…luckily we crashed here… survive for months…” I could only pick out pieces of what he was saying, I felt so weak.

“Ricky.” I whispered laying my head on the soft cotton of his t-shirt.

“No worries darlin’, Ricky’s just inside, we’re almost there.” I felt…so…weak.


            My eyes flashed open and for a moment I thought I was home, the soft mattress beneath me felt just like mine but then I realized, where’s my Backstreet Boys poster? I turned my head and my heart skipped a beat.

“Ricky” I breathed, he smiled, his green eyes that were intently looking at me shimmered. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You needed your rest, I was a bit worried for a moment there, you’ve been sleepin’ for two whole days.” A worried expression crossed his face. I looked around, there were mattresses everywhere, it looked like Sleepy’s. “By the way Delilah, we’ve landed on an abandoned island; this is a mini mall… what are the odds?”

“Ricky Wyatt of all the mattresses here you chose to be on mine,” I said coyly, Ricky blushed a little.

“Why Miss Delilah, yours looked like the most comfortable one.” He rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows and held himself over me, making sure to only let a bit of his weight on me. He tilted his head and looked at me thoughtfully. “Delilah… I’ve known you for what twelve years? And somehow I’ve managed to not tell you how I feel about you.” My heart was beating at about a million times per second. “Delilah I’ve seen you around, I’ve seen you every day of my life, I’m in like half your classes, you’re brilliant. You’re beautiful, your laugh could grant us world peace and your touch could cure cancer. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” I laughed tears of joy streaming down my face, “and I must be the stupidest man in the world to have never told you this before.” A worried expression crossed his face, “Delilah?” His words were falling to deaf ears, I couldn’t understand what was going on, I felt like I was losing control of everything. I was spasming uncontrollably; I had no power over any of my body parts. “Delilah!” Ricky screamed. “Hurley!”

“What’s going on Rick?” Hurley asked out of breath.

“She’s seizing… I-I don’t know what to do…” Ricky explained, his voice was strained, he was worried, I wanted to explain to him that I was fine, but I couldn’t, my words wouldn’t come out.

“Epilepsy… the guys had pulled a bunch of stuff from the wreckage, I saw her luggage, she has pills in there.” Hurley walked over and gripped Ricky’s shoulders and shook him, “Snap out of it Wyatt! You and Delilah here are the top of our class, you know what to do, do it.” And Hurley ran out. Ricky leaned over to me and unzipped my jacket, then he hastily unbuttoned the top buttons of my shirt, then it stopped. I slowly regained control of my body parts, my vision cleared up and the violent ringing in my ears stopped. Ricky was standing off to the side giving me a worried look.

“Ricky…” I whispered, he ran over to me.

“Shhhh, it’s alright darlin’ everything is fine.” He whispered, I smiled, I suddenly felt so tired, even though I had just woken up, I felt drained.

“Ricky Wyatt.” I mumbled.


“I think I may just be fallin’ in love with you…” I breathed; I could feel myself falling asleep again.

“Really? That’s funny ‘cuz I think you may have stolen the key to my heart.” He replied, putting a chain around my neck, I looked down; it was a small golden key, I flipped it over, there was a small heart engraved onto the back.


            Two months went by in a blur, it was the best two months of my life, it was like living in a Nicholas Sparks book, we made it work. The boys caught the food, the girls cooked it in the little food court restaurants, clothing wasn’t a problem, because the stores were full of them. Of course it wasn’t perfect; a bunch of us had died. Either they got sucked out if the plane when the cockpit broke off, they drowned in landing or their injuries eventually killed them off. The last scenario was almost Michael’s fate, luckily Ricky and I did all we could and we kept him alive. A lot of people are a bit emotionally damaged, some lost sisters, brothers, boyfriends or girlfriends. Nobody really slept in the mattress store…we used the mattresses for ‘other’ things. Ricky and I walked into the food court holding hands. Michael, who was sitting in Hurley’s lap, looked giddy as ever, he looked in his place. I can’t believe I didn’t notice how handsome Michael was before, sure he’s got messy brown hair and a whole patch of funny looking freckles on his face but they work; he’s got a scrawny build and he’s blind as a bat. But all in all, he’s quite handsome. Hurley on the other hand is quite the opposite, he’s built like a football player, no he’s more of a Greek god carved from stone. They’re perfect for each other them two, Michael seems to fit in Hurley’s arms as if he was made for him; they fit together like missing puzzle pieces, finally found.  Michael’s leg was still a mess but Bill had made him a crutch out of wood, not that he ever uses them, it seems like Hurley is always carrying around 75 percent of the time.

“Ooo back from the mattress shop already? That was fast.” Lydie-Beth said; she was behind the counter in the food court frying up something. To be honest, Lydie-Beth was the only girl here who I couldn’t help but envy. She was perfect, she had wavy red hair and huge blazing green eyes, dull in comparison to the knotty brown mess I call hair and the dull brown marbles I had for eyes. She reminded me of a princess, she walked with a light step with grace and perfect posture; she was thin but curvy and very athletic. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering… Ricky could have had her…why would he choose me? Lydie-Beth is so perfect, so beautiful… how could Ricky Wyatt choose a daisy in a field of roses? I couldn’t help but quote my favorite poem by Julie Martinez in my mind. An angry shudder ran through me as I looked at her but I didn’t hesitate to shoot her my fakest smile. Before I had the chance to continue to ponder on how much better Lydie-Beth was than me, a tall, lanky boy named Ridley came running in.

“It’s here!” he exclaimed “The plane is here! There’s only eleven seats left guys so if you want to go home, go now!” he yelled breathlessly and ran. And we were all so excited, so relieved to be going home, until it dawned on us: someone’s not going home.


            It was chaos, the first thing I saw was Hurley spring up out of his seat, knocking Michael to the ground, he picked Michael up and slung him over his shoulder running fast and hard. Then Lydie-Beth jumped over the counter, knocking the pot of hot grease over and she ran without looking back. The stand where she was began to burn, the fire alarm went off, the lights began to flash, and I began to feel a bit faint. I dropped to the ground with a thud and lost control. I couldn’t see, I wasn’t sure how long I was down or what was going on.

“Delilah, you hold on Delilah” I heard Ricky yell as he undid the buttons of my shirt.

“Ricky c’mon! There’s only one spot left on the plane it’s as good as yours! Leave the girl!” A voice yelled. My vision cleared up and I came back into focus.

“I won’t leave her!” Ricky yelled. “She can come with us, can’t she just sit on the floor. Or- or on my lap?”

“No, it’s a small plane, the lesser the load, the better.” Ricky looked down at me; I used up as much energy as I could and pushed myself up off the ground.

“Go…” I said putting my hand on his chest and pushing him a little.

“I won’t leave you Delilah, don’t make me leave you.” He whispered his expression pained me; his eyes were glistening with tears.

“They’ll come get me, real soon. And- and you know what?” I said fingering his t-shirt “I’ll take my meds, ya, I’ll take them and I won’t be so sick anymore, and when I get back it’ll be senior year and we’ll be together okay?” I reassured him, a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I love you Delilah, I love you and I always will. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine; you make me happy when clouds are gray.” He sang, putting a finger on the key around my neck, I laughed; my tears were acid burning their way down my cheeks. Stop Delilah, you must be strong or he won’t go, I wiped the tears off my face and I kissed him, one last time. I threw everything I had into that kiss, we both did, the buzz from the kiss sent my head spinning and a jolt down my spine. I watched as he walked away and I waited until the mini mall door closed behind him before I lifted myself off the floor of the food court. Little did he know, that would be our last kiss. The tears freely fell from my face as I ran to the Bath store at the end of the mall. He wasn’t coming back. I filled the tub up with hot water. He had to leave…staying would have meant his death. I slowly stepped into the water. He’s safe now, he’s well on his way back, that’s all I wanted, but they won’t come back for me, they will forget about me. He will fall in love with Lydie-Beth or someone else and I’ll be stranded here, waiting for death. I pulled the chain over my head; I turned the key over in my hand and traced the heart on the back. I put the jagged end of the key to my wrist, I grit my teeth and pushed it down, drawing a deep jagged line and switched hands. He gave me the key to his heart, not knowing it would also be the key to my death. The only thing that was going through my mind was my favorite song, Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T’s, but my own twisted morbid version of it. I heard the pounding of running feet down the hall of the mall.

“Delilah!” Ricky yelled, but I knew he would be too late. I slipped my head down under the blood stained water.

Hey there Delilah what’s it like in heaven baby

You’re another life away but girl tonight you look so pretty

Yes you do

Being alive ain’t fun without you

I swear it’s true

The Outsiders by S.E Ending Re-Write

“It was really scary.” I started. “One of those boys was pushing Johnny’s head into the freezing cold water.”
“How did you know the water was freezing?” the lawyer challenged.This women was persistent annoying and almost never let me finish anything that I had to say.
“It was freezing out so obviously the water was freezing.” I retorted. The lawyer simply nodded her head. “They were about to kill Johnny and shook I just couldn’t lose someone else. So I flipped out my switchblade and I stabbed him.”
“Who’d you stab?” golly was that a stupid question.
“Who do you think I stabbed?” I asked rudely. “Obviously Bob. Then when Johnny woke up I told him we needed to run away. So we did.”
“No further questions your honor.” the lawyer told the judge.
“Go on back to your seat now Mr.Curtis. Lets take an hour recess so the jury can make a decision.” the judge said. It was almost over. After having to sit here listening to all those socs lie I finally got to tell the truth and it was almost over. All the socs said Johnny did it. They all said Johnny killed the soc. It was a lie. I killed him. I killed Bob.
“Are you out of your mind Ponyboy!” Darry yells.
“What?” I asked.
“What did you do up there? What were you talking about?”
“I was only telling the truth.”
“What are you talking about? Johnny killed the soc not you!” Soda yelled pitching in.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! You weren’t there! Johnny would never! He would never!” I yelled back. Everyone in the courtroom was staring at me now. I felt my cheeks getting hot. Soda and Darry sat back down. They didn’t know what they were saying. They weren’t there. Johnny isn’t like that. Innocent little Johnny could never. The judge came back in and we stood up and got back down.
“Will the jury please rise. Will the defendant also rise and face the jury.” the judge commanded. I stood. “Madame forelady has your jury agreed on a verdict?”
“Yes we have.” a lady in a red pinstriped suit responded.
“Foreman what do you say? Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?”
“We find Ponyboy Curtis guilty of murder in the…” I zoned out. Guilty. The word hit me like a sack of bricks. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I think I heard the judge say something about sentencing but I didn’t hear him. I nudged Darry in the ribs.
“What’d he say?” I whispered.
“Guilty pony, he said you were guilty.” it hit me again. Guilty
“No after that.”
“Shhh he’s sentencing.” Darry scolded me with tears in his eyes.
“Ponyboy Curtis there’s someone here to see you.” the guard said unlocking the lock and pushing the bars open. I walked out and followed him. I walked in and I almost cried.
“Darry!” I said running over and giving him a hug.
“No touching!” the guard yelled.
“Hey Pony I missed you so much!” Darry cried.
“I missed you too.”
“Look at you! Glory Pony they don’t feed you in Juvy?” he asked. I shrugged. Darry sat down and I did too. “So I guess you’re an official JD now huh?”
“Ya except I’m a JD for life.” Darry looked at me.
“You’re innocent Pony and you know it.” he said getting mad. “You’re only fourteen Pony why’d you ruin your life like that? You got me, Soda, and Two-Bit still. Why?”
“I only told the truth Darry that’s all I did.” I told him.
“You know its over right?” he asked.
“What’s over?”
“The greaser vs. Soc war is over. We get along fine now. Socs are putting grease in their hair and, greasers are cutting their hair too.” he explained. I thought about that. It seemed impossible, so I just brushed it off.
“Hows Johnny?”
“How’s Johnny doing? Is he home from the hospital yet? When can he come see me?” I asked.
“Pony, Johnny’s dead and you know it. You know it better than I do. You were there Pony. You watched him die!” Darry yelled.
“Time to go.” the guard said shoving me up from the chair and pushing me towards my cell.
“Pony! I love you! Remember that Pony!” Darry screamed as I trudged away.
Johnny’s dead. I know Johnny’s dead and I knew it before too. I just didn’t want to admit it. A few hours ago when I saw Darry I knew it too. I just didn’t want to believe it. I’m in here for the rest of my life. In this dusty, lonely cell. Well at least until I’m eighteen. Then I’ll get moved to another dirty, lonely cell. In jail. Real jail. I’ll never see Soda. I’ll never see Darry. I’ll never see Two-Bit. Glory I think I’m even going to miss Shepard. What did I do! I pulled my shoelaces off my sneakers. I tied them to each other. It wasn’t long enough. I started shredding the sleeve of my orange jump suit into strips of cloth. I tied it into a circle. I pulled a chair into the middle of the cell. There happened to be a ceiling fan up there. I tied the long end of the rope to it. I pulled the loop through my head onto my neck and tightened it. I thought to myself you can’t stay gold, in a jail cell Johnny, you just can’t. Then I yelled as loud as I could,
“I’m coming Johnny!” and pushed the top of the chair away from me. Dangling.

Behind My Stripes

I am fragile. My story shall not be written for the reason that someone might find it and read it. I’m not fond of diaries, instead it will be spoken. It shall never be heard by any living, breathing creature. I must say what is inside me because if I don’t let it out, it might just kill me. So I will speak. Call me crazy, and put me in a straight jacket for I’ve heard it all before. I speak to myself and trust no one but the voices in my head. If you look at me, you run in fear for I wear the stripes of a tiger. You think I am fierce, untouchable, unbreakable. You think you know me? You’ve heard the rumors you’ve heard the lies, but never have you heard my side. The rumors make you laugh and almost feel bad but my stripes make you run and hide. You don’t dare confront me. Behind my stripes you believe there is nothing but a cold, empty, hollow void where my heart should be. I am bitter because I won’t let you in. I refuse to let you know that you are wrong. My stripes, nothing but a mask. I am not fierce like a tiger. That is only what I let you see. Behind my stripes is a person who is broken beyond repair. Face dry from tears and bags under her eyes from crying herself to sleep. I am not untouchable. The slightest words can knock me over blasting me into non existence. Behind my stripes is someone whose heart has been broken, shattered, stepped on and left there to rot. Someone who has been cheated, lied to. Behind my stripes is someone stupid. Someone who has let too many people in, wore her heart on her sleeve, and given her love away like candy canes on christmas. Letting all those people in and giving them chances, only to have them break her heart. Behind my stripes is someone who has been betrayed and stabbed in the back. Someone who has heard “I love you” and “I’m your best friend. I’d never hurt you.” and fell for it. Behind my stripes is someone who has heard “you’re crazy, you’re fat, you’re ugly.” and let it get to her. Let it break her and tear her apart. So I put on my masks of stripes and I am a tiger. I put my heart in a steel box and chain it. I melt the key. Nobody will ever hurt me again. Nobody will ever look into my eyes, peel off my stripes and take of my mask and see the real me. For behind my stripes, is nothing but broken glass.


He blew into the coffee shop
With a gust of wind

With his curly brown hair
and his caramel skin

He was six foot six
and drank beer for kicks

He could never love a girl
Too busy was his world

A junior in college
With medical knowledge

He walked into the shop one day

His name was Lile
Lile Wild. His named fit him in every single way

Though he loved to party,
He always saved time to study
In hopes of traveling far away

From the corner of his eye
He saw her and almost died

Lila, dear Lila
The girl with the heart tattoo

She had dark brown skin
and long black hair
That was the opposite of thin

She was deep in a novel,
A romantic novel
Her favorite book;
The notebook

He ran over to her quick
Without a second to think
He sputtered out his favorite line
With the same cocky smile
That he uses everytime

‘What time is it?
Tell me quick!
What is the time and the date
That my eyes laid upon this groovy chick?”

Lila heard him
But was not fazed

She was ready to reject
But looked up from her book
And met his gaze

His eyes
Oh his eyes!
They were giant pools of milk chocolate
When you look in them, they pull you in

In the pool of chocolate
In the pool of chocolate

But you don’t cry
You don’t scream
Because falling,
Is so much better than it seems

‘May 7th 1972
2:22 in the afternoon.
By the way,
I’m diggin’ the fro bro’

With that
Lile smiled
His cocky little smile

Everyday day at 2:20
The seniors in high school
Were let out early
At the Coffee House everyday at 2:22
Lila met her fine dude
The Coffee Shop
Was painted nude
But still the vibe was very cool

There were blue bean bag chairs
Lounging on them,
People with floor length hair

One day,
One fateful dreadful day
Lila sat on Lile’s bed
And on his shoulder she rested her head
His guitar she listened to him play

Then came a bang
A booming bang on the dorm door
A classmate
A friend of Lile
Was shouting,
Shouting ‘Wild! Wild!’

In his mouth hung a toothpick,
The classmate said,
‘Come Lile! Come quick!
You can bring along
This groovy chick
You have to see!
You simply must see!
A bunch of us are getting an opportunity!’

Without thinking he grabbed her hand
and down the hall
He ran
He ran
Down the hall,
He followed the man

He reached the bulletin board
And read the list
His name in bold
He almost missed
For he, simple city boy he
Had been picked!

He was going to a place
Far and Wide.
He was going to beautiful Africa,
No lie!
He was one of the small handful picked,
Picked to go on a trip
To help the sick

He wouldn’t go!
There was no chance!
He hadn’t even taken Lila to her
Senior prom dance

But he had to go,
He could not stay.
There would never be another opportunity
This great

So he left the girl
With the thick, long black hair
He left the girl
Oh life wasn’t fair!
He left the girl
To whom he gave his heart
He left the girl
He couldn’t bare to part!
But alas he left the girl
With the dark brown skin
He left the girl
But believed it was a sin

On the day he was
To take the plane
He stopped and stroked
Her long black mane
Black as night
Black as death
He wasn’t ready to let go yet

She whispered,
Into his ear
And out came
A burning tear
He left without saying a word
He left the black haired nerd

She cried,
Oh she cried!
For she was so blue
As his plane took off
At 2:22

He wrote letters
Oh so many letters
To the cracking coffee house
But the owner kept them
That sneaky mouse!

For the owner loved Lila
He would die for Lila
And every day at 2:22
Lila came to the crumbling coffee shop
To wait for her boo
The owner watched Lila
Both Lila and the Owner
Oh so blue

10 years of waiting
10 years of pain
10 years of crying in the rain.

He blew into the shop
With a gust of wind

With his curly brown hair
And his caramel skin

He was six foot nine
Arms and body
As thin as a line

He loved none but one girl
Who was his entire world

He spent 10 years
10 years of his life
In Africa
But still, he had no wife

He walked into the shop
One day

His name was Lile
Lile Wild, his named
Matched him in no way

He no longer had the strength or joy
To party
Virus messed up his eyesight
He can’t study

From the corner of his eye
Even with his bad eyesight, he saw her
And literally, literally, almost died

Lila, dear Lila
The women with the heart tattoo

She had dark brown skin
And long, thick black hair
The opposite of thin

She was deep in her work
A lawyer for creeps and jerks
She was deep in a book
A law book

He hobbled over quick
His mind unable to think
He tried to utter his favorite line
But instead sputtered up blood
The color of wine

Lila dropped her book
And looked up with a start
And the gruesome sight before her
Teared apart her heart

He had caught a virus
An untreatable virus
Caught from too many roots of papyrus

As a child Lila studied science well
She knew that the virus
Had hit almost every cell
He had a virus factory building inside
For how many years, could he remain alive?

She had stayed with him
For years and years
And every night
Went to sleep with tears

She had tried to nurse him
Back to health
But couldn’t do much
Even with her great wealth

It was May 7th 1992
Lile was on his deathbed
His lips midnight blue

His light brown skin
Covered in spots
On his back you could play
Connect the dots

His brown hair
Fell in curls
His eyes filled with sorrow
As he looked at the girl

He pushed back
A strand of her long black hair
And thought with hatred
Life is not fair!

As tear rolled down
Her dark brown cheek
He croaked his last words
Before falling into death sleep

‘May 7th 1972 was the first day I saw you
May 7th 1992, I’m leaving right on cue
So one last kiss
To say I love you
With one last kiss
I bid you adieu’

His lips cold as ice
Hers tasted like rice
As her long black hair
Fell across his chest
He tried
Oh he tried his best!
To hold on
To stay
But he failed the test
Because as quick as the day
Lile slipped away
He just couldn’t stay
For death doesn’t play

It was 2:22
His lips midnight blue
Lile left like a lion
Ripping Lila’s heart to ions

Lila went to the Coffee Shop
Hoping he’d come back
Like a parade
With his big booming voice
And flashing smile
And that gust of wind
That blew for a mile

When the owner of the coffee shop died
He left nothing but one thing behind
A stack of letters
Yellowed by time
A stack of letters left behind
A stack of letters
From a boy named Lile