Site Under Construction!

Howdy! You’re going to notice that a lot of my poetry will suddenly disappear from my site, do not worry! I am preparing for my book (coming soon!) and will be removing the poems that are going in the book from my site. I will also be stripping my TeenInk as well. Thank you for understanding! I hope you are as excited about my book as I am!   Much Love, Tarebear   Continue reading Site Under Construction!


I never thought of myself as ‘fat’. Then in fourth grade the teacher sent home letters. And at the bottom of this letter there were the words ‘your child’s weight’ with three numbers in bold and below that was ‘average weight of a child this age’ with two numbers next to it. 116. Those three numbers haunted me for the rest of the year. And as I grew older, the numbers grew larger. And my self esteem dropped lower. The last three numbers I remember seeing were 182. That was two years ago. I know that that number is much … Continue reading Fat.

Ode to My Aching heart

I’d like nothing more than to shout from the mountain tops how utterly upset and heart broken I am. But I cannot. Because what if he hears my shouts? How crushed will I feel when I realize that he not only doesn’t care how utterly upset and heartbroken I am, he couldn’t be any better? What will I say to those who ask me what’s wrong? There is nothing I can say that will make any sense. Nothing makes sense. Because I have no right to be upset… right? He wasn’t mine. It was all so temporary. But here’s what … Continue reading Ode to My Aching heart

I Forgot

I forgot what it felt like to be liked. I forgot how it felt to wake up and think ‘he just might be thinking about me right now’ and praying he’d see me in the halls and say hi. I forgot how it felt to rush home and whip my laptop open to see if he’s attempted to contact me. I forgot about that light, bubbly feeling I got anytime he said something sweet. And it seems that in the brief period of time that  I had spent relieving these feelings I also forgot how it felt to not feel that way. … Continue reading I Forgot

My First Muse -2

And he looked at me with those big, pools of chocolate in his cranium,  as I looked into his eyes I found myself falling into those pools of chocolate. And I knew that falling into those pools would be the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I knew that once I fell, I’d be under his spell. But I let myself fall. And I just fell and fell and fell. But I didn’t cry, I didn’t scream. Because the sweet pain of falling was so much better than it seemed. Continue reading My First Muse -2

My First Muse -1

And when I saw them together I saw everyone else see them. And everyone else walked around getting hit in the head with pieces of the sky and acted as if nothing was happening. They passed the couple holding each other in a disgustingly cute romantic embrace and kept walking, kept laughing, kept living as if they didn’t notice the sky falling on top of them. As if the world as we knew it wasn’t crumbling. I noticed. Continue reading My First Muse -1

Behind My Stripes

I am fragile. My story shall not be written for the reason that someone might find it and read it. I’m not fond of diaries, instead it will be spoken. It shall never be heard by any living, breathing creature. I must say what is inside me because if I don’t let it out, it might just kill me. So I will speak. Call me crazy, and put me in a straight jacket for I’ve heard it all before. I speak to myself and trust no one but the voices in my head. If you look at me, you run … Continue reading Behind My Stripes