Exorcism

there are demons who have crawled up through my hands and feet slithered through my veins and taken up permanent residence in my head. But not before spreading vicious ichor throughout my body staining my thoughts with paranoia and self loathing. Their hisses seep through my skin and bones, penetrate my arteries and flow within my blood stream Their lies and judgements buzz around my brain like bees While their accusations of imperfection clog my heart I think therefore I am I am a crumbling castle of regret and blame. I look in the mirror and a hollow home for … Continue reading Exorcism

Go to Sleep

We treat our bodies like t-shirts Sleep deprivation Is equivalent to a little wear and tear It’s okay if I don’t sleep now I’ll sleep when I’m dead Unlike a t-shirt You only get one body You cannot stay up Stay up Stay up Circles around your eyes Mood tarnished by fatigue And when you’re done Trade in your run down corpse For a new Rested body Students sometimes We gamble with fate Is this assignment really worth my health Usually the answer is yes Because completion Equals high grade And high grade equals Average And average equals GPA And … Continue reading Go to Sleep

I Gave My Grandma a Break Today

My heart breaks for my grandmother she is old she is ill Her memory is fading Along with what seems to be the scraps left of her sanity. Walking is difficult eating is difficult living is difficult. Though she spires me with bitter words full of rancor I must forgive her for she knows not what she says. My heart breaks for my grandmother because I am short with her. My temper is hot. But she knows not what she says. She knows not what she says. How awful it must be to watch the line between reality and fantasy … Continue reading I Gave My Grandma a Break Today

Cork

I tried again to write about you today but I found myself at a lost for words like usual. Now I can’t help but wonder If this is more than just writers block maybe my heart is blocked and the words can’t be pumped out. You were once a cork that filled the craters in my fragile heart. Now thoughts of you restrain my heart from beating out the words that can set me free. Continue reading Cork

Pardon Me…

I don’t mean to be a bother but my heart is splintering and fragments of broken glass are scratching the walls of my hollow chest and I was wondering if you had some glue. I know it’s late but demons in the form of thoughts of you race around my mind threatening to drive me insane and I was wondering if you could perform an exorcism. I know you gave up but every shallow breath that I drag into my decrepit lungs reminds me of how much I don’t want to be alive and I was wondering if you had … Continue reading Pardon Me…

Heartbreak Dialogue

“It’s late.” “I know… I know” “You should be sleeping” How can I sleep? How can I sleep when thoughts of you race around my mind like hamsters on a wheel? How can I sleep? How can I sleep when memories threaten to slice my head in half? “I cannot sleep.” “Try” How can I try? How can I try when every time I shut my eyes, pictures of you haunt me, reminding me of the mistakes I made? “I miss you.” “It’s late.” Continue reading Heartbreak Dialogue

Long Night

Thoughts Race around my mind In this endless game of ping pong My eyes close And whip back open No sleep tonight The demons are ravaging my mind Must keep busy Must keep busy So I’ll twiddle my thumbs do whatever I can To keep my itching Fingers From clawing My beating heart Right out of my chest Can’t sleep Can’t sleep Tick tock Tick tock The longer I stay awake The louder the demons Get Tick tock Tick tock Can’t sleep Won’t sleep Continue reading Long Night

The Endless Wait

I’m okay I’m fine I’m going to sleep and I’ll wake up tomorrow with hope in my fast beating heart and I’ll flip my phone over and click it on and I’ll have dozens of notifications. But none of them will be from you. So none of them will matter. But I’ll still rush to unlock my phone and double check to make sure because what if what if… what if nothing. There’s nothing there. Nothing. And I’ll spend the whole day double triple quintuple checking. I’ll spend the whole day “What if-ing” And there will be nothing there. Nothing. … Continue reading The Endless Wait